tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78283000234508563822024-03-05T11:30:27.452-08:00Pearls and NuggetsGabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-199623376778075142023-09-10T18:39:00.000-07:002023-09-10T18:39:41.260-07:00Prayer, Praise and Worship - The Ultimate Lifeline<p><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">Music is powerful.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">It can boost our mood and make us happy. It
can pump us up, getting us through a strenuous workout. It can motivate us,
helping us to power </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">through a difficult
task or cleaning the house It can evoke strong memories, transporting us back
in time, stirring either pleasant and joyful memories or painful and sad ones..
Music is also a very mighty tool that connects us to God, guiding us toward
praising Him for all He’s done, or worshiping Him in adoration for Who and All He
is, or crying out to Him when we are hurting or burdened or weary and don’t
know what else to do.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">To me, singing to
and about the Lord is a form of prayer to Him, and it connects me and draws me
closer to Him.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">When I was
a child, music was a big part of my growing up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was surrounded by it. My grandmother was a singer and my uncles played
the accordion and guitar. My father attempted to get in to the music business;
he dabbled in writing, singing and recording his songs. Both my mother and father
had vast collections of LP’s. My dad would play anything from Fats Domino to Chubby
Checker, and he made sure we watched Soul Train every Saturday afternoon.
Everything he listened to was always upbeat and fun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mother, on the other hand, listened to artists
like Joni Mitchell and Carly Simon. My mom suffered from depression most of her
life, so the music she listened to tended to lean towards the melancholy, and
thus it had a detrimental effect on me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To this day, I cannot listen to anything in the minor key scale because
it brings me back to those depressing childhood days, and it unsettles me
inside. My husband has a massive collection of Christian music from the 70’s on
up, and sometimes when he is playing a song that is in the minor keys, after a
few minutes, I have to ask him to change it. Even though the words are
beautiful, the sad sounding minor keys suddenly gives me a very gloomy feeling.
It is amazing how strong of an effect the melody of a song can have on me some
50 plus years later. It is a testament of how deep an influence music is on the
emotional center of the brain. And which is why I tend to only listen to positive
music with an uplifting beat.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">God uses
music in many powerful ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Throughout
the bible, examples of songs of praises, songs of victory, and songs of mourning
can be found. When the Israelites were delivered from the Egyptians, they broke
out into spontaneous songs of praise and victory, the Song of Miriam and Moses
in Exodus 15: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After Paul and Silas were
beaten and thrown into prison and put into stocks, they started praying and
singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them when suddenly a
great earthquake shook the prison and the doors were opened (Acts 16:25-28).
Talk about the power of song! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What an
amazing example!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of being sad or
angry that they were just beaten and thrown into jail unjustly, Paul and Silas
just started singing and praising the Lord!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wonder what the prisoners were thinking. They must have been
impressed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know the experience caused
the keeper of the prison to become so terrified that he asked what he must do
to be saved, and he and his family were baptized that night (Acts 16:29-34).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Musical instruments are also mentioned
several times in the bible. Instruments such as the harp, trumpet, cymbals,
lyre, shofar, bells, tambourine, flute, and timbrel were all used quite frequently
in biblical times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>David used the harp
to calm Saul when a distressing spirit from the Lord was troubling him. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">”David
would take a harp and play for him, and Saul would become refreshed and well
and the distressing spirit would depart from him”- </i>1 Samuel 16: 14-23. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In Jericho, the high and formidable walls fell
down on the seventh day of marching, after the priests blew the trumpets, the shofar
horns, and the peopled shouted with a great shout (Joshua 6). The walls were no
small walls, they were massive stone walls, between 12-15 feet high and 6 feet
wide, and they were backed by a 28 foot watchtower. God used the shouts of men
and the sounds of the horns to crumble these walls that were considered impenetrable
as a reminder of His mighty power and faithfulness. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">I myself have
seen the powerful impact of songs of worship and praise many times in my own
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two particular examples stand out
in my mind. The first occurred the day after I had my hysterectomy in September
2019. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I woke up in extreme pain and severe
nausea.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The anti-nausea medicine they
had given me was not working, and I could not take any pain meds because I was vomiting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course this happened at 6 am when the
doctor’s office was not open, so I had to wait for the message to get to the
doctor, then wait for the doctor to call in the new prescription, then wait for
the pharmacy to open, then wait for my husband to go pick it up. During those horrible
hours of waiting in intense pain and misery, I put on praise and worship music.
The song I had on repeat was</span><b><span style="font-family: times;"> <u><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBCcBwnW1PU" target="_blank">"He Will Carry You"</a></u></span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">Throughout my tears
and anguish, I listened to and sang this song over and over again. Before I
knew it, the pain had subsided.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">I was
able to endure. This song was my pain medicine.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;">As I was singing to the Lord, focusing on Him as my source of strength
and comfort, He faithfully got me through and carried me during those long,
painful hours.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">The other
time occurred during what I now refer to as “The Incident”. My husband and I were
taking a long road trip, driving to Wisconsin to visit his mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since I have a hard time sleeping anywhere that
is not my own home, and I am prone to anxiety at night, I had been taking CBD
gummies to help me sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well apparently,
unbeknownst to me, the brand that I had usually been taken was out of stock. When
my husband gave me the substituted ones, the first thing I notice was that the
taste was off. I asked him why they tasted weird and he said the other ones
were out of stock, but the guy recommended these ones and said they were only a
bit stronger.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>About an hour later, after
I had fallen asleep, I immediately knew something was wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suddenly woke up from having had a
horrible, psychedelic nightmare that consisted of an enormous clown’s face
melting. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I instantly jumped up out of
bed, and asked my husband “WHAT WAS IN THAT GUMMY??!! As I walked toward him,
my legs gave out and I fell, and I couldn’t walk. I was hallucinating, I was
acting irrational, I couldn’t speak right, my mind felt out of control, and I
was terrified. My husband called his friend, who had a pretty good idea of what
might have happened, (the new gummies probably had THC in them) and tried to
calm me down. He told me that I would be fine in a few hours, I just had to
wait it through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried to go to sleep,
but I kept panicking, and I seriously thought I was losing my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was terrified and felt like I was in a
spiritual battle, fighting the enemy for control of my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Words cannot adequately describe the terror I
was feeling or the war that was raging in my mind. Finally, I got the presence
of mind to pray, so I just kept praying, without ceasing, for what seemed like
hours, and singing to myself “Jesus Loves Me”, the children’s hymn. In its
simplicity, it was all I could muster in the state that my mind was in at the
time, but in its power, I was delivered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The Lord heard it, and comforted me and allowed me to finally get peace
and to fall asleep. I know without a doubt, that Jesus was fighting that battle
for me that entire night. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Suffice it to
say, I only use Christian music, sermons, and chamomile tea for sleep and
anxiety now. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;">God has
used songs just for me to get me through some pretty rough and scary
times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am anxious or worried, I
put on my power play list. My go to power song is <b><u><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugD0i5Y3cw8" target="_blank">“My Hope Is In You"</a></u></b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That song lifts me up and redirects me to
where my mind needs to be: focused on, the only hope out there: Jesus. When I
can’t articulate the words, or I am just feeling out of sorts in some kind of
way, God ministers to me through song.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I am angry or upset about something, and I listen and sing praises
to Him, I am instantly transformed, and I am in a much better place spiritually
and mentally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God created us with the
ability to play an instrument and/or sing, albeit some better than others, of
course. But, as my husband likes to say about my singing, it is joyful noise to
the Lord, that’s all that matters. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
we sing to the Lord, when we humble ourselves and worship Him in song, He meets
us right there, and we are refreshed and renewed in spirit and in mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is no better lifeline than this.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif;"><b><span style="font-size: medium;"><i>Oh come,
let us sing to the Lord! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation!”</i> –
Psalm 95:1</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></p>Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-11620401431371243322022-10-15T13:33:00.003-07:002022-10-15T13:53:55.144-07:00 Showering of Blessings Come from Simple Obedience<p><span style="font-family: verdana;">This week I was reminded of the power there is in
obedience. A quote from one of my
favorite pastors, Charles Stanley, has stayed with me over the years: “Obey God
and leave all the consequences to Him.” I attended a ladies retreat last
weekend, and my fire was reignited, my spirit renewed, and I was blessed over
and over again by many “but God” moments. I stepped out in blind faith, obeying
something the Lord told me to do, and oh how wonderfully and powerfully I was
blessed!</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Back In June, the Lord spoke to me and said: “Go to the
ladies retreat”. I knew it was from the Lord, because it just came out of
nowhere in a quiet moment, and I had not attended or thought about a ladies retreat in several
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I looked into it briefly, then
brushed off the idea and forgot about it. About two months later, God spoke to
me again, in a stronger voice, “Go to the retreat!” That jolted me a bit, and I
remembered the quote about obedience, so I diligently searched for the
information and registered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a
giant leap of faith, as I knew I would not know anyone who would be attending
nor whom I would be rooming with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I
rested and waited in peaceful anticipation of what the Lord had in store for
me.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;">True to form, whenever God is preparing something to work in
your life, the enemy tries to come in and steal your joy and peace and prevent
whatever good thing God is going to do from happening. So a little over 2 weeks
before the retreat date, I came down with the dreaded virus. And it hit me
hard; I was down for 2 weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I kept
thinking was “Lord, please don’t let me miss this retreat!” But this time of
illness was actually a blessing, as it was preparing me and my heart for the
retreat. It made me cry out to the Lord in my misery, asking for strength and
healing. I kept remembering scriptures of when Jesus healed people, like the
lady who was made well by touching the hem of Jesus’ garment: “Your faith has
made you well….go in peace (Mark 5:25-34), or the leper who said “Lord, if You are
willing, You can make me clean” (Matthew 8:2-4). It made me appreciate and love my
husband even more; he was my nurse and attended to me constantly, and more
importantly, he prayed for me continuously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Another unexpected blessing from this illness was that it broke my
dependence on coffee (caffeine), of which I have reaped many benefits that have improved
my health. I sleep better, waking up earlier and more refreshed now, giving me
more time to read the Word; my heart is no longer racing and working hard, my
blood pressure has dropped, and my legs and body don’t ache as much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of this was preparing me to be ready for
the retreat and sit at His feet, opening my heart to be still, and stripping
any hindrance and ridding me of myself, allowing me to hear only from Him for 3
days. “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love
God, to those who are called according to His purpose “– Romans 8:28. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;">The theme of the retreat was “Beautifully Broken”, and I
knew why I needed to be there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For
years, I have struggled with regrets over my past sins, mistakes, and
failures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that many things I have
done have affected my children, and I struggle with mother guilt, battling the
“I coulda, shoulda, woulda” in my mind. Sometimes it is pure torment, but a
beautiful sister there reminded me that it is the enemy telling me these things, and
don’t let him in my mind that way. As a mother, I may always struggle with
this, but a song I heard at the retreat said, “Our sins they are many, His
mercy is more.” When these thoughts creep in, I have to keep reminding myself
of God’s Word and promises for me. Yes, I did sinful things in my past, but the
blood of Jesus cleansed me and wiped the slate clean (Isaiah 43:25). I became a
new creation when I confessed my sins and accepted Jesus as Lord of my life (2
Corinthians 5:17). Hebrews 8:12 says “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness,
and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” If God doesn’t
remember my sins anymore, why should I keep rehashing them? I am free from that
bondage. And this is why it is so important to read and study the Word of God, because
when these battles of the mind, the spiritual battles in the dark hours of
night when we are alone and feel beaten down, we can recall these scriptures that
are implanted in our hearts and shout them aloud, strengthening us and
reminding the enemy he has no place here!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;">Another “but God” moment for me was through Secret
Sister/Prayer Partners. This was an optional activity, where you submit your
name and prayer requests and someone draws your name and vice versa. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You commit to praying for your “secret sister”
at the conference and for the year, along with giving her 3 gifts during the
retreat. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first night, when I opened
my first gift, this note card was inside (mind you, I have never met, and still
don’t know who my new “secret sister is, but God used this to speak to me): </span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIQ_ui_omPmKKWCV3N5s9niMMa6xCr6COrO303BlT1BGgYAONtXZInImpjp5cp9aPKptqJholhFB415-ZJC3L3dNm6gjyaTrfAmLQe3rOMLiqHiWr2FW0hwBI9d-5q8QPclCq_OMOlNtF5ejZir1Sh3KuavTuuGj4yfQO4tzkjF9KplIvywCB33g/s1034/Note%20Retreat%202022.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1023" data-original-width="1034" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIQ_ui_omPmKKWCV3N5s9niMMa6xCr6COrO303BlT1BGgYAONtXZInImpjp5cp9aPKptqJholhFB415-ZJC3L3dNm6gjyaTrfAmLQe3rOMLiqHiWr2FW0hwBI9d-5q8QPclCq_OMOlNtF5ejZir1Sh3KuavTuuGj4yfQO4tzkjF9KplIvywCB33g/s320/Note%20Retreat%202022.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /><o:p></o:p></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;">This blessed me so much and spoke to me in a very powerful
way! Another thing I struggle with is my feeling of inadequacy and always
feeling like an oddball.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t have a
dynamic, vivacious personality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
always the last one picked for teams in school. I have always been quiet and a
loner, doing things by myself. In crowds or groups, I retreat to a quiet little
corner, watching all the life-of-the-party people do their thing. So I have
struggled to find my place in life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
older I get, the more I have accepted that l am just “different”. When I read
this note, tears started to flow. I said to myself “Yes Lord, You did! You
created me and You get me! I will obey You, and You will do the rest!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So again, I took a leap of faith, and started
being open with sisters I met, seizing opportunities to speak blessings to
them. I was hesitant at first, since I had long ago put up a wall around me because
of past hurts and because I felt my past attempts at reaching out to others was not well received; I felt rejected. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
the Lord said to me “keep doing this, and if it isn’t received, shake off the dust,
and move on to the next one” (Matthew 10:14).<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;">During the time of worship and prayer, I asked God to help
me be a better wife to my husband and a better helpmate to walk alongside of him
in his ministry, and to speak to me about how He wants to use me and my gifts,
whatever they are. During this time of waiting on the Lord to speak, this song
came on, which is now on my list of power songs: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcDRp0zWGIw" target="_blank">Canvas and Clay</a>. It spoke to my
struggle with past mistakes, and how they aren’t wasted. It spoke to how
wonderfully I am made, and how He makes all things work together for my good
and His glory. As I was deep in prayer, I heard the very last words of the song
“He’s not finished with you yet”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
looked up and said "Okay Lord, what is it?", and He told me to go back to writing.
In October 2020, I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease. In addition to the numerous physical
symptoms, there are cognitive ones: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>brain fog, memory loss, difficulty
concentrating, etc., all of which have been a battle for me and has put a damper on my
writing. There are studies that show that brain volume loss occurs in Graves’
disease, so as they say, the struggle is real. But listening to the many
wonderful ladies who spoke at the retreat about their many difficult struggles,
which are much worse than mine, and seeing how the Lord continues to use them,
the Lord showed me that He can still use me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My body and mind might not be the same anymore, I am adjusting to this
new normal, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but I see that I can still
be used by God, just in a slower, stiller and simpler way. So here I am,
writing once again.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;">One thing I noticed of all the ladies that spoke or I met, was
that in spite of all their pain, suffering, loss, difficulties, etc., they all
had the joy of the Lord. They all emanated this light and peace and love and
pure, unspeakable joy of the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
is what aging gracefully is. That is what obedience to the Lord is. It is
submitting to the Lord, no matter what circumstances befall you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is having that peace that surpasses all understanding,
and trusting that the Lord will continue to sustain you and be there for you
and bless you as you navigate through life’s many challenges. It is being
receptive to what He is telling you to do, and following in faith, sight
unseen, to whatever it is the Lord is telling you or leading you to do. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will be abundantly and unbelievably
blessed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found this out by my simple
act of obedience in heeding the Lord’s call to go to the retreat. I arrived not
knowing a single person, but I left having new sisters in Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I left with my soul and spirit renewed,
realizing God is not finished with me and He can, will and still use me, no matter what I’ve done in the
past,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>or how much of an oddball I feel like I am. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I left knowing that He has equipped me with certain
gifts, has uniquely made me, with my quirky personality, scars, flaws and all, to
bless certain people. He accepts who I am and I can sit still and be who He
made me to be. <span style="background: yellow; mso-highlight: yellow;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: verdana;">He’s not finished with me. And He’s not finished with you.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: verdana;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Blessed are those who hear the
word of God and obey</i></b>. <b>– Luke 11:28</b></span><o:p></o:p></p>Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-17205720974365855972021-01-03T14:20:00.008-08:002021-01-03T14:20:51.082-08:00Victor or Victim?<p> I recently took up running. Partly because my gym has been
closed, and partly because of the weight gain that I’ve been battling. I was
diagnosed with Grave’s Disease in October, and the medication that has been
prescribed to me comes with the nicely added side effect: “may cause obesity”. Great. While battling
these additional pounds I have put on is not a symptom that I welcome, my body
has gotten stronger, and that is a symptom that I do welcome and embrace fully.
. A few months ago, I could not climb the stairs without pain or struggle, nor
get up from a seated or squatted position without assistance and a lot of
effort; now I can jog a full 30 minutes
without having to take a break. This is no small feat, mind you, as I have
never been a runner in my entire life; 5 minutes in and I would be done. The
increase to my strength and endurance truly hit me the other day. I was rounding a curve and going up a hill,
while at the same time the main chorus to the song I was listening to, <i>Again I Say, Rejoice</i>, came on. Struggling
to push through and not to quit as the words “rejoice in the Lord always” were repeating
in my ears, this beautiful sight of the sun rising over the mountains greeted
me. At that moment, I felt so wonderfully and fully victorious, and I realized
just how much the Lord has brought me through. I stopped, in complete awe of
His greatness and love for me, tears of joy and gratitude started flowing from
deep within my heart. The picture I took does not do justice to the beauty God
showed me at that moment, but it was a feeling of sitting on Jesus shoulder’s
and Him saying “I’ve got this”. He made me see that I wasn’t a victim of my
disease, age, past, etc., I was a victor because of Him and what He has helped
me, and continues to help me, overcome. </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Victim mentality or victim syndrome has three key
beliefs:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>1) bad things happen and will
continue to happen; 2) other people and/or circumstances are to blame, and 3) any
attempt to create change will fail, so there is no point in trying. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At times, I have struggled with this; growing
up in a home filled with depression, pessimism and fear probably played a part.
It was like having a dark cloud forever hovering over me. Even now, when I
visit my mother, she likes to revisit the past. Rehashing past hurts, people’s transgressions,
mistakes, etc., and it has been a fight for me not to take on those tendencies,
and I sometimes leave these visits with some anxiety. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are times, however, when I travel down my
own personal memory lane, that I wonder and marvel at how I ever made it this
far. And I know it was because of Jesus. He saved me and He rescued me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am reminded that I am not a victim. Jesus
made me victorious. I am not the things I have been through or the things I
was, I am victorious because Jesus had a hand in my life, even when I didn’t
know it or Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I endured racism and
bullying in school. But I survived. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
endured abusive relationships. But I am strong. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was a single mother and had struggles. But I
made it through. I am not those bad things that happened to me. Those challenges
helped make me stronger and refined me, but most important of all, they helped
me see that Jesus was there all along, protecting me and holding my hand
through it all, and loving me like no one else ever can or will.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have been told by others that they appreciate my
optimistic attitude and my ability to see things in a positive light. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I try
to see things from God’s standpoint. The other day, I was having a conversation
with my husband about the time I went to California a few weeks after having a
hysterectomy and I ended up in the hospital. He reminded me of how I almost
died and how I should have listened to him about not going in the first place.
I replied by saying “but God”. I reminded my husband how God put the right people
there for me at the right time. I reminded him how seeing the body of Christ
come together for me was an excellent witness for my unbelieving children to
see and that it could be planted seeds for the future. And I reminded him how,
once again, God protected me through it all and saved my life. This conversation
triggered a memory for me about how a similar situation occurred when I was about
24 years old. I had a biopsy done for cervical cancer and somehow the doctor
had nicked an artery, and then I had unknowingly been hemorrhaging inside for
several days. I ended up in the hospital, and by the grace of God, just in the nick
of time. “But God” again. I was a Jehovah’s Witness at the time, yet God still had
put His protection over me. He had a plan for me, of which I was oblivious to it,
or Him, at the time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I look back at
these and other episodes in my life, I don’t feel sorry for myself that it happened.
I say “Praise You Lord for being there and saving me when I didn’t deserve it!”
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">God wants us to live our lives like we are victorious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Doing so gives a strong witness to others
around us of how powerful and loving He is, and points to the fact that knowing
Jesus is the only way to get through this thing called life. Living our life victoriously
points to Jesus as the ultimate meaning and fulfillment of life on earth; <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I am the way, and the truth, and the life,
no one comes to the Father except through me.”</i> (John 14:6). If I lived my life focusing on
the negative parts of my life, being a victim of my circumstances, it would
invalidate all the good God has done, and take the focus off God, and put it on
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think of Moses, when God told him
to go to Pharaoh to bring His people out of Egypt. God knew of Moses’
insecurities, and He told him, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I will
certainly be with you” </i>(Genesis 3:12). Yet Moses would give excuses why God shouldn’t
use him: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Suppose they will not believe me or listen to my voice” </i>(Genesis
4:1).<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>He was taking the focus off of
God and what God would do, and instead put it on him and <u>his</u> voice. So
God showed Moses a miracle to remind him who was really the focus here, and to
help him refocus on whose power and strength was to be relied upon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God turned a rod into a serpent, then back to
a rod again. Then He made Moses’ hand leprous, then restored it. Yet this wasn’t
enough for Moses, with him <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">saying “O my
Lord, I am not eloquent and I am slow of speech and tongue”, </i>again focusing
on himself and his weaknesses, being victim minded, so to speak. God responded
by saying “W<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ho has made man’s mouth? Or
who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing or the blind? Have not I, the Lord?
Now therefore go and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.</i>”
(Genesis 4: 2-12).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And still, even with
God’s assurance that He would be his mouth, Moses asked God to please send
someone else, and God’s anger was kindled against Moses, so he sent Aaron his brother
to speak on his behalf (Genesis 4:14-16). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t help but wonder if that is what happens
when I tell God I can’t do something because of some excuse I come up with
based on what happened in my past. I sure don’t want to kindle God’s anger by
not remembering that it is Him who goes with me, in everything I do and that it’s
not in my own strength. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not a victim of my past. God is with me
and that makes me victorious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not
inadequate because of past events. I am victorious because God lives in me. He gives
me the words to say, the strength to endure, the power to persevere and to boldly
press on. When the enemy whispers to me you can’t do it because you are a nobody,
the Lord tells me I can because it is through Him I am strong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Never forget the power we have is Jesus!
Through Jesus, we can be victorious! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“When I am weak, then
I am strong.”</i> – 2 Corinthians 12:8-10</p><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUBZF5_aWFU">Song: Again I Say Rejoice </a></p><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVO4lwmQo0SFZcpumz6ME7ZpsZTf5WZSDOKOzH2wrKTRZJJOK4SYFPDmgo6Gxo9kzjLkfQgVyxmt9xNi9gZiJ81bMGk182rsfA6yXseRbfQILRs3qpAdyI9-TC-gI19JW3sjnEliV4gg/s1440/Running+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVO4lwmQo0SFZcpumz6ME7ZpsZTf5WZSDOKOzH2wrKTRZJJOK4SYFPDmgo6Gxo9kzjLkfQgVyxmt9xNi9gZiJ81bMGk182rsfA6yXseRbfQILRs3qpAdyI9-TC-gI19JW3sjnEliV4gg/s320/Running+2.jpg" /></a></div><br />Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-4946415872089045132019-06-22T14:20:00.001-07:002019-06-22T14:23:38.071-07:00He Calls Me Friend<div class="MsoNormal">
Weird. Different. Inadequate. If I had a theme song, it would probably be “Which One of These Things Doesn’t Belong”, a song from a popular children’s show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve struggled with these feelings for most of my life. I think it stems from a combination of many things. I am biracial, so being only <u>half</u> Mexican, and only <u>half</u> Black, I never really felt like I fully belonged to either ethnicity. Then the fact that I am a huge introvert doesn’t help matters. Even though I now have a better understanding of who I am and why and have embraced my uniqueness, it still manages to make life difficult at times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Social events and group interactions, for instance, are the death of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few months ago, I had to attend a large company function. I was fairly new, and didn’t know anyone. I grabbed my breakfast burrito, and was relieved when I found a safe quiet corner behind a stairwell, where no one could see me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My tranquil haven only lasted a short while, because one of my co-workers, who also happens to be an introvert, came and pulled out of my corner and forced me to join my other co-workers. While I was not overjoyed about this “rescue”, I felt good because a fellow introvert, and someone who understood my personality, made the effort to make me a part of the group.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Needless to say, having these “weird” personality traits does not make it easy to make friends. I do not have the gift of gab, which is ironic, considering my nickname is Gabby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In groups, I usually remain silent, unless I feel very comfortable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am very blessed that the job the Lord put me in consists of a group of people (and a fantastic boss), who understand and appreciate my personality, and they have allowed me to come out of my shell in my own timing, in my own way. I think what made this transition so easy was that each member listened and valued me and what I have to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it’s like positive reinforcement: if someone truly listens and acknowledges a person, without dismissing them or changing the subject, the other person will start to feel safe, and will start to open up more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is how God is. He truly cares about His children, and He listens attentively. And the safety and security we feel when we go to Him in prayer, the more we open up to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it would bother me that I don’t have a lot of friends, and I know my husband wishes I had more friends. While I have always been content to do things by myself, there have been times I wished I had someone who really “gets me “and who I could share everything with. Yes, I have my husband, and he is my dearest friend, but the reality is, husbands don’t always understand the female persuasion. They don’t understand our bodies and the changes that go on; they don’t understand why our emotions are up and down and why we cry at the strangest things. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as I get older and grow more in my walk with the Lord, I have realized that I do have a friend, the best friend anyone could ever have: Jesus!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am constantly amazed at God’s goodness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is always there, and He is never far away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many times, when I am overwhelmed, and my thoughts are all scrambled and I don’t know what to do or say or how to pray, I start journaling to Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I do, I feel immediate peace, and He guides me in the right direction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He answers me, He comforts me, and He directs my steps. I am overwhelmed in knowing that He cares so much for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of my favorite songs is “I Am a Friend of God”. I weep every time I hear the lyrics: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Who am I that you are mindful of me? That you hear me, when I call. Is it true that you are thinking of me, that you love me? It’s amazing!”</i></b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is very amazing indeed! Taken from David’s words in Psalm 8, this song is a powerful reminder of what a wonderful friend God is to me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He responds to me is so many ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am lonely or melancholy, He sends his creation, like birds or bunnies, to greet me on my walks to let me know He is still there. When I am feeling inadequate about myself or my sense of worth and purpose, He reminds me of why I am here, by way of a comment from a citizen I helped or commendation from my boss.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am struggling with a decision, He gives me confirmation by opening or closing the doors and giving me peace. The ways He speaks to me are endless, and I am blown away that He hears and cares about even the most insignificant thing I am dealing with.<o:p></o:p></div>
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God’s Word is filled with examples of how He hears and cares for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am touched by how He responded to Hagar, the Egyptian slave of Sarah and Abraham. When Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham, she conceived, and Sarah became jealous, creating a contentious situation. Because of Sarah’s harsh treatment of her, Hagar fled to the desert, all alone. She must have felt so isolated and overwhelmed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was an Egyptian slave, so she was away from her people and the home she grew up in. She was treated badly for merely obeying orders from her mistress: to go in to her master and conceive. She is pregnant and all alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the desert. But God, our wonderful and kind Father, goes to her as she is sitting by a well, alone and hopeless, and speaks to her. After she tells Him what happened, He comforts her and gives her a prophecy about her son. He heard her affliction! He heard a lonely, wandering, pregnant young woman in the desert and He came to her to give her comfort and a promise! Then “s<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">he called the name of the Lord, The God Who Sees” for she said have I also here seen Him who sees me?”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Genesis 16). How comforted she must have felt knowing God saw her and thought so much of her to come in her time of distress and need!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And He comforted her again several years later. Sarah had again banished Hagar, this time with her son Ishmael. Hagar and Ishmael wandered alone in the desert, and their food and water ran out. She was despondent. She put her son under a tree and walked away so she wouldn’t have to watch him die. God heard her and Ishmael’s cries and He called out to her. He told her to “fear not” and He again gave her a promise. Her son would lead a great nation! And He led her and Ishmael to water, thus saving their lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Genesis 21:9-20)<o:p></o:p></div>
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The story of Hagar is a powerful testament as to how God hears us and cares about us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It strengthens my faith in knowing that God hears me too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He listened and heard the cries of a dejected, broken-hearted, lonely, young slave girl in the desert. I know that no matter how alone, odd, or inadequate I feel, God is always right there, listening to my cries, and comforting me, as only a loving Father can comfort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There may be times that I feel He doesn’t understand me, or isn’t interested my trivial concerns, or is too far away, but I look to His Word, and I and find stories like Hagar’s that remind me of how loving He is, how mindful of me He is, and that He calls me friend.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained, What is man that You are mindful of him?; And the son of Man that you visit him? For You have made him a little lower than the angels and You have crowned him with glory and honor.”</i> - Psalm 8:3-5<br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUn5H6N2xa4" target="_blank">Song: I Am A Friend of God</a></div>
Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-87711593363998584872018-10-13T15:41:00.001-07:002018-10-13T15:51:30.894-07:00Milestones<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I hit a milestone this year: I turned 50.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">As the day grew closer, I found myself
anticipating the big one with some trepidation.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">
</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Growing up, my grandma would frequently refer to the “change of life” as
the worst time in a women’s life, and she painted a bleak picture of menopause
and growing older with scary scenarios of things like women’s uteruses falling
out, horrible hot flashes, and emotional breakdowns. Yeah, fun times that I was
not looking forward to.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I put a lot of
what she said out of my mind until I turned 40, and those fears started creeping
up again. I was in college at that time, and those persistent fears led me to
choose women and mid-life crisis as a topic for my research project. I thought it would help me to understand and cope with the psychological and physical
changes that were around the corner.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">The
things I learned from my research eased my fears, as I learned that a lot of it
has to do with attitude and perspective. So that knowledge reassured me
throughout my 40’s. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">But then I turned
50.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">I tend to think and overthink things. That is my
introvert and OCD mind. I think the hardest thing for me was realizing how
short life really is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life expectancy
can be 70 or 80, and I realized that I only have 20 or 30 years left, God willing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I look backwards 20 years, those memories
seem like they only occurred a short time ago. The reality that <i>“</i>life is only a
vapor” (James 4:14) hit me hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I see that
more and more people I used to know from different circles are passing
away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some younger, some older, and the
realization that tomorrow is not promised to anyone makes me appreciate each
day on earth more. Another difficult thing for me was looking back and wishing
I could rectify some of the mistake I made. The phrase “youth is wasted on the
young” takes on new meaning for me. While I catch myself being dragged down with
regret, the Lord reminds me that “<i>all things work together for good to those
who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”</i> (Romans 8:28). I
know God knows that I am but dust (Psalm 103:14), and I am not the same person
I was back then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has given me wisdom,
and He will use that wisdom for His glory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I also take comfort that God restores the years the locust have eaten
(Joel 2:25). He has preserved my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
have been many time that I look back and wonder how did I survive some of the
crazy, dunderheaded, dangerous choices I made? God had His hand on my life and
protected me for a long time, even before I knew Him!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has provided for me abundantly, and gave
me the desire of my heart, my wonderful husband, when I was 45. Who says God
doesn’t restore and work miracles?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And since I have
seen firsthand what God has already done in my life, I trust that He will resolve
the things in my life that I am still waiting on, things that seem impossible to me,
but to Him <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>all </u></b>things are
possible (Matthew 19:26). I trust that He will continue to restore those years,
fixing damage that was done by my poor choices and ignorance. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">With this new decade, I am learning that a lot of
stuff doesn’t matter, and I need to live more simply and fully, and because I have
Jesus, that means more abundantly. I find that I appreciate God’s natural
beauty more. I would rather be outdoors with my husband, experiencing nature
and wildlife, than wasting it on artificial, meaningless things. Time doesn’t stand still for anyone, and
every minute is valuable. I stopped sweating the small stuff. I stopped
stressing about my appearances and caring what others might think (</span><i style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.</i><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">”-
Ecclesiastes. 1:2). I don’t feel the need to be
perfect anymore, worrying about matching my shoes to my outfits, concealing my
tummy bulge, or worrying what people think if they knew I shop at thrift
stores. I march to the beat of my own drum, and feel okay that I still dress like
I’m in the 1970’s and 1980’s. And I started to embrace my gray hair. I decided to stop coloring it about a year
ago, for several reasons (time, money, health), and it has been
liberating. I like how the Contemporary English Version
bible refers to gray hair: </span></span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><i>"Y</i></span><span style="line-height: 107%;"><i style="line-height: 107%;">oung people take pride in their strength,<u><b> but the gray hairs of wisdom are even more beautiful.</b></u>" </i><span style="line-height: 107%;">(Proverbs 20:29)</span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">. If this isn’t a comforting
scripture for growing old, I don’t know what is. </span></span>There are many such scriptures
in the bible that show God values older women and gray hair, and His opinion is
all that matters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Turning 50 also made me see that I have to “let go and
let God” more, and live that truth each day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s hard sometimes, and I have to be reminded of that daily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whatever problem comes up, I tell God to take
over, then have I peace for the day. But in the morning, I take up whatever the
worry of the day is, and I start the cycle all over again. But God is faithful.
And patient. I am so thankful for His patience with me. It seems that turning
50 gave me some gumption, because I made the momentous decision of packing up
and leaving California, the state I was born and raised in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was not easy, but with a lot of prayer,
support of Godly friends, and God opening the door to my new job, we made the
move.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to really trust God with
this decision, even when it seemed so scary, and especially when I encountered
some resistance from people. I had to forge ahead and trust that God was
leading the way. I had to trust my husband as leader and submit to him. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am terrible when it comes to making
decisions. Being OCD, I tend to ruminate over things until my brain is ready to
explode.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So when I asked God for
guidance so I wouldn’t make the wrong decision, I had to give up everything that
was of me, and let Him lead the way. And He opened doors that my human mind
could not comprehend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From giving me the
job that came out of nowhere, to leading us to an apartment that we could
afford and was surrounded by His beauty, I could fully see His hand at work.
But thank goodness for His patience, because the enemy started whispering
doubts in my ear not long after we got settled in, and I started having second thoughts,
a sort of buyer’s remorse for movers. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Getting caught up in missing my family and friends
and old co-workers, being overwhelmed by the newness of my job and the unfamiliarity
of my new surroundings; all this started weighing on me, and I had to rely on
the Lord for strength.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One day, one of my
new co-workers asked me how I was doing. She told me that she was impressed
with my courage to make such a big decision, and I thought to myself, “I think I’m
more nuts than guts to do this”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I
thought about it later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God has
sustained me during this transition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I have moments of fear, loneliness or doubt, He is there, giving me
strength. And loving me and caring for me and being patient with me when I go
from praising Him for blessing me with my new job and apartment, to questioning
Him if this was the right decision. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%;">This year was a year of milestones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turning 50. Leaving a company after 10 years.
Leaving my family. Moving to another state. Starting a brand new job. But God
is faithful. I am reminded of Sarah in the bible (Genesis 12-18).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had to pick up and leave with her husband
Abraham to an unknown land when God told them to. Abraham was 75 and Sarah was
65 when they made this momentous journey; she was 15 years older than I am! She too experienced doubt when God told her she would have a child when she was in her 90’s, but God
proved faithful. And even when doubt and impatience caused her to make an
unwise decision by sending Hagar to bring forth the child God promised to Sarah, He still blessed her with the promised heir, and she is included as an example
of faith in Hebrews 11:11.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am so blessed that God put these examples in
the bible. He gave us His Word to encourage us, strengthen us, and show us His
faithfulness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is nothing new under
the sun, and I take comfort that I can turn to Him for guidance as I continue
on my journey, waiting and relying on Him as He continues to guide my steps and remind me of others who have been through the same thing I am experiencing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many more milestones that I will
encounter, and God will continue to be there for me every step of the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><i><br /><br />"Even to your old age, I am He, And even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have made, and I will bear; Even I will carry, and will deliver you." - Isaiah 46:4</i></b>Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-60258752783340329632018-02-24T15:54:00.000-08:002018-02-24T15:55:52.271-08:00It's All About Perspective<br />
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As I grow older, I am discovering, that in order to deal
with life better, I need to change my perspective. Towards a lot of
things. Whenever I am dealing with some
dilemma or stressful event in my life, I find that I am having frequent inner dialogues
with myself, and I see that when I look at it from God’s perspective, and a
more positive one, I realize that I have more peace, and the stress or tension
leaves me. When I reframe it from a Godly
perspective, I get a peace that surpasses all understanding. However, this is
not always easy to do.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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One difficulty that I frequently have to battle with in this
regard, is the area in which I live.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Before I got married and moved in to my husband’s apartment, I lived in
a decent neighborhood in a very quiet complex, on a quiet street, with a garage
and plenty of room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I live in small
apartment, in a not-so-good of a neighborhood, with homelessness, gangs and
drugs, constant noise, and various criminal activity on an almost daily basis.
My once quiet nights are filled with things like suddenly being awakened by
cars speeding and burning rubber in the alley, sounding like they will come
crashing through our bedroom wall, or hearing the sounds of someone outside our
window, in a drug induced state, cursing up a storm, banging on trash cans
outside our window.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I fear for
our safety, as my husband was once threatened by someone wielding a hypodermic
needle because he accidentally kicked over his beer bottle when walking home from
the store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These things no longer bother
me like they used to, namely because I changed my perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I would express fear, my husband would
always remind me, pointing towards the heavens, that we are protected, and to
give it to the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then when I saw
that my husband would witness to the homeless and drug addicts, I realized that
this is a mission field, and God has us here for a reason. So instead of
dwelling on the negative, and telling myself “I hate living here”, I found
myself being thankful and content, knowing that one of my husband’s greatest
passions is spreading the love and words of Jesus to people, and living here
provides him that opportunity, and even more importantly, it is part of God’s
plan for us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I always get comfort when I go to the bible and see examples
of others who experienced similar challenges.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Moses had to change his perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When God told him He was going to send him to Pharaoh to bring the Israelites
out of Egypt, Moses kept giving God excuses. Moses asked who is he that he
should be the one to do it. He asked God what should he tell the people if they
asked who sent him. When God gave him all the instructions, Moses asked what if
the people wouldn’t believe or listen to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then after God showed him the two
miracles of turning the staff into a serpent, and turning his hand leprous then
restoring it back to health again, Moses had yet another excuse:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>he was not eloquent and was slow in speech
and tongue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By this time God was angry
and asked Moses basically “who do you think gave humans a mouth and the ability
to hear or speak? If I gave you a mouth, don’t you think I will give you the
words?” Moses really needed to change his perspective at this point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know about you, but if I saw a
burning bush that wasn’t consumed, and saw God turn a staff into a snake, and
then turn my hand white as snow with leprosy then back to health again, I would
be pretty convinced that God was telling me to do something and that I better
do it, now, no questions asked!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think
with all the evidence that God showed him, Moses could have shifted his
thinking and said to himself, “yes, maybe I am not a good speaker, but God will
give me the strength and courage and the right words to do this!” But it took
Moses some time, and witnessing God’s might and wonders, to overcome his pessimistic
perspective. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love how God used people
like Moses, with his negative and doubtful thinking, to make His plan known and
to get it accomplished. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Moses’ example encourages me because it shows
me that I am not the only one whoever struggled with negative thinking, and
even though we might succumb to it from time to time, God can and will still
use us. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is also an example to us,
that even though we don’t think we can accomplish something, or that our
circumstances won’t get better, God will make us victorious, either by removing
the obstacle, or giving us strength and hope to endure. Setting our sights on
God, on the things above, gives us the perspective we need to persevere and be
strong in our daily battles. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Changing our perspective from a self-centered one to a God-centered
one can be a daily battle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some days are
easier than others. Some days we need extra help in this area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reading God’s Word, listening to praise and
worship music, praying, even if all we can do is throw up arrow prayers for the
time being, helps so much in getting our mind right, and more in line with God’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I find myself in despair over something,
imagining the worst case scenario, I sometimes have to fight to change my perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The “I can’t stand this small apartment”
becomes “I love my cozy little home with my husband”. The “there is no hope for
my prodigal and unsaved children” becomes “God has this and He’s actively
working on them in His timing and His way.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The “my job stresses me out” becomes “I am so thankful that God gave me
good job with good benefits and good co-workers.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The more I see things from God’s perspective,
the less overwhelming life becomes, and the more peace and contentment sets
in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the more I see and realize all
the blessings God has bestowed on me, the more grateful and thankful I become for
all that He has done. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are
above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your
mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and
your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is our
life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.” – Colossians 3:1-4<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<br />Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-28913030079252747762017-10-15T21:52:00.001-07:002017-10-15T22:00:49.780-07:00The One Who Never Changes<div class="MsoNormal">
Change has always been hard for me. Whether it’s a new job, new living arrangements,
or new season in life, getting acclimated to the “new normal” takes me a while.
I remember after I finished grad school in 2013, I was out of sorts for a
while. I had been going to college every
semester, spring, summer and fall, for 10 years straight, and then that season in
my life to suddenly came to an end. I didn’t know what to do with myself, but
before I knew it, I adapted, just like I usually do, and found something more
valuable to meaningful to invest in: Bible College and church. Some changes are sudden and some are gradual. Some changes are easier to deal with; others
are much harder to adapt to, like the aging of a parent, the loss of youth,
health, and vitality, and the loss of important relationships. Maybe you never completely adjust to these
changes; you just learn how to deal with it, the best way you know how. But it’s an inescapable fact: change is and
always will be a part of life. I can’t
control what happens to me or around me, but I can control how I let it affect
me, and I take comfort in God, knowing that He never changes; He is the same
yesterday, today and always (Hebrews 13:8), and He promises to be there for me
always, through any trial, storm, or change. <o:p></o:p></div>
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There are physical changes that face us all. As I get older,
I find myself faced with the subtle changes that come with age: diminished
vision, longer recuperating time from illness and physical exertion, and of course the vanity side of aging: more grey
hair and wrinkles. Then there are my
health changes that seem to be getting worse with age, namely IBS (Irritable Bowel
Syndrome). I have lived with this for
almost 15 years, and it seems to impact the quality of my life almost daily
now. There are days that I look 5 months
pregnant because of the severe bloating (thank goodness for loose and flowy
tops and yoga pants), and the pain and discomfort becomes almost
unbearable. In the beginning it was more manageable, but now I suffer from various
levels of pain and discomfort about 85- 90% of the time now. God bless my patient and long suffering
husband, who has had to endure my numerous complaints, feeling helpless as to how
to help me, but doing any and all he can to help alleviate my symptoms. This condition limits many of my activities
often, but my husband is so gracious and compassionate in enduring this, because
my limits also impacts him. The most
powerful thing he does is pray for me, and this has helped me to endure the toughest
of days. Needless to say, this wasn’t a
welcome change, it is my thorn that I have learned to live with, by the grace
of God. I take great comfort in God’s words to Paul <i>“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect
in weakness.” </i>(2 Corinthians 12:9)<o:p></o:p></div>
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Change can also come in the form of lost relationships. Sometimes friends will just drop out of your
life for no apparent reason, or maybe there is a reason, but they just didn’t
share it with you. Even though it may hurt for a while, you tend heal, and
accept that they are no longer in your life.
Then there is the loss of a close family relationship that can be very
painful, and you just never quite get over it.
Several years ago, when I was disfellowshipped from the Jehovah’s
Witness organization, my brother, whom I was very close to, stopped speaking to
me. It has been more than 15 years now, but I still miss the relationship we
used to have. Perhaps though, more painful than losing the relationship of a
sibling, is the loss of a relationship with your child. It is painful for sure, and I don’t know if
it will ever be restored, but I rest assured in the never changing nature of
God, and I rely in Him, to understand my pain, and to comfort me during those immense
moments of sadness. I take comfort in knowing nothing is too big or too hard
for Him to fix, in His will, and in His timing.<br />
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Whatever change I am faced with, I hold on tight to my
relationship with Jesus. I have an unexplainable
feeling of peace and security, knowing that He will never change. "<i>I the</i> <i>L<span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;">ord do not change." - </span></i>Malachi 3:6. His word never
changes, His attributes never change, His promises never change, and more
importantly, His love for me never changes.
As I read through all of scripture, I see that His nature is the same
throughout, from Old Testament to New Testament. God is consistent and unchanging ALL THE
TIME! When there is a change regarding my health, I trust that God, if it is His
will, will heal me, in His timing, or He will give me the strength and the
means to endure. If it is change regarding the loss of relationships, I trust
that He will comfort me in my sadness, restore the relationship in His due
time, or replace the lost relationships with new brothers and sisters in
Christ. God is faithful and unchanging
and wants the best for his children. <i>“Every
good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not
change like shifting shadows.”</i> - James 1:17. In this world of constant change and chaos, it it awesome to know that there is an unchanging, steady anchor, Jesus Christ, that I can cling to, and He lets me know that through every change, He is right there with me, and that I will be ok. <o:p></o:p></div>
Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-65198929677418610372017-06-28T19:00:00.001-07:002017-06-28T19:04:36.128-07:00Worthless ThingsA few weeks ago my husband and I were reading aloud from the bible from Psalms, when a particular verse made me stop and pause for a moment. It was Psalms 119:37: “Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things and revive me in your way.” That verse has stuck in my head and I have continued to ponder on what the Lord wants me to learn from this. Worthless things. What worthless things does the Lord want me to turn away from? The first thing that came to mind was Facebook. Like many, I found myself on the addiction side, always checking it to see what the latest and greatest was. What I have found is that it can be a huge time waster. When I first signed up, it was a good way to connect and stay in touch with people, see photos, and be uplifted with an encouraging word now and then. But now, to my dismay, I have noticed it has become an avenue for people to promote hate, spread lies, negativity, and bad news. Instead of photos of the latest family outing, my news feeds are filled with videos of one person beating up or cursing out another, hate filled diatribes against our current president, current political figure, or the police. I started to think: is this some of the worthless things God wants me to stay away from? It certainly feels like it, especially since Facebook now seems to feel much like spam does in my email inbox. <br /><br />One day it really hit me how much social media and modern technology has really taken over our lives. I was watching the recent miniseries about the O.J. trial (because during that moment in history, I was captivated like much of the world, wanting to know all the details). Watching it brought back a lot of memories; I was thinking back to that time (1994) and what I was doing with my life. I was raising 3 small kids. I was sewing, along with other crafts, making clothes for me and my girls. I was enjoying quality time with people, in person and on the phone. I took my kids to lots of fun places: zoos, museums, plays, and parks. I was totally engaged with life and people, and immersed in the moment. And that’s when the light bulb went off. There was no social media back then. People weren’t glued to their phones, forwarding the latest on the O.J. case, or holding their cell phones out recording every minute. I thought to myself, “wow, how far have we come (or degenerated) that we can’t leave the house without our cell phone?” We have become glued to it, and are always looking down, more engrossed by what is on that device than looking up and enjoying what is outside all around us. I started thinking about all the worthwhile things I could accomplish with my time, if I just stayed off of computers and social media. I could spend more time reading God’s Word and reading more uplifting and spiritual things. I could spend more time in prayer. I could start sewing and crocheting again. I could clean and organize the house better. I could improve my lackluster cooking skills. I could dust off the guitar and take up lessons again. And maybe I could finally take the harmonica out of the drawer and start learning how to play it. I would actually be able to enjoy just being in the moment, observing all the Lord’s goodness and handiwork, partaking in activities that would bring Him honor and appreciation, instead of missing it because I am glued to my device. Instead of looking down, I could be looking up. Hence, I have started to take a step back from social media, and limiting my time on it, and trying to make a more concentrated effort to be more engaged and in the moment, and hence, keeping my eyes worthwhile things.<div>
<br />Bitterness and unforgiveness is also a worthless thing that the Lord has shown me I have been wasting my time on. For years I have had some resentment towards my father for things he did or didn’t do while I was growing up. Harboring resentment did me absolutely no good; I had headaches, I would become upset when thinking about it, my stomach would be in knots, and I could tell my blood pressure would go up. Was this worthwhile, spending my energy holding a grudge? It took some time, but I am finally at peace. The road started a few years ago when I had to interview my father for one of my school papers. When I realized what his childhood was like, and that he didn’t have a positive male role model in his life, I realized my father did the best he could, with what he knew. He still provided for his kids. He still loved us in the way he knew how to. And now, I am very thankful that the Lord has granted him a long life so that I can finally appreciate and love my father in my adult years; it doesn’t matter how late, because it’s better than never. There are times that I still struggle with bitterness, because of certain people who cause problems in my life from time to time. I can feel the difference in my joy and walk with the Lord when I start brooding about the latest episode, and I have to force myself to cry out to the Lord “Oh create in me a pure heart, oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalms 51:10. Bitterness and resentment can be very difficult things to overcome, and it is only by His strength that I can be successful. Jesus knew how difficult this would be, and I find comfort during times of persecution from my enemies in His words: “I have told you these things, so that in Me you would have peace. In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world! - John 16:33. I know that the Lord sees all things, and will work out any adversity against me; I just need to trust in Him, and not let any bitterness rise up in me. <br /><br />The Lord has shown me another worthless thing that I have been spending my time on: regret. I have struggled for a long time with regret over past mistakes and choices. I spent a lot of time in my younger years pursing things that I see now were worthless, and I have a lot remorse for that. And because my relationship with my children has been strained lately, regret has been consuming me quite a bit. Wishing I could have done things differently with them while they were growing up, and even now in their adult years. I know these thoughts are from the enemy, and discouragement, shame, and regret are some of the most powerful tools that he uses to keep us down and from moving ahead in the plan God has for us. God is constantly reminding me that I have to “forget what is behind me, and strain towards what is ahead.” - Philippians 13:3. It is futile to look back; what is done is done, there is no changing that. But I serve a mighty God, and I know that He can restore the years that the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). He can turn my past failures into triumphs, and He can turn my mourning into joy. God is forever doing a work in me, all for His glory, and that is a very worthwhile thing to be a part of.</div>
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<br />So as I begin my journey of turning my eyes away from worthless things, I expect God to show me some spectacular things. I expect my walk with Him to grow even more, as I will have more time to spend in His Word. I will have more time to spend on extracurricular activities that will let me tap into the creative and unique being that He has made me, and maybe I will find some undiscovered and hidden talent. I will have time to really stop and focus on the beauty of all that is around me, which He has created for our enjoyment and His glory, and I will truly be revived in His way. </div>
Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-61592289426196920402017-03-26T09:25:00.004-07:002017-03-26T09:25:51.527-07:00I Work For a King<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday evenings are a little hard for me. After a nice, relaxing weekend with my
husband and family, reality sets in and I mentally and reluctantly prepare myself
for the work week ahead. I find myself
wishing that I could stay at church all week instead of going to work, because
of the safety and comfort I get from my church family, the sermons and bible
studies. Lately, a lot of people have
retired from my place of work, and I catch myself envying them, wishing that I no
longer had to work. Once Monday comes
and I get myself back into the swing of things and the daily grind, I get over
this Sunday evening blues, and am back in full force, attending to my job with
dedication and perseverance. However, come
Sunday, the cycle begins again. I know I
am in need of an attitude adjustment; my husband reminds me of this every
Sunday when I start complaining. Why do I
dig in my heels on Sunday evenings and fight against it? I know we all have to
work; that is what the Lord wants us to do; and the bible says we can find great reward
and satisfaction in work (Ecclesiastes 2:24). I am very grateful for my job; it
is a good place to be, it is very rewarding at times, I work with good people,
and it provides for all my needs. I know this regular, weekly grumbling session
I do is something that the Lord wants me to work on, and it is a little bit of
a struggle for me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Like all workplaces, there is good and bad. Right now we are very busy, and I find myself
exhausted at the end of the day. I work
with the public, so that can present some challenges at times. There can be
personality clashes or misunderstandings, so that doesn’t help things. As in every office setting, there are things
that are ideal, and some things that are less than ideal. Instead of wishing that I could change them
or that someone would do something about these situations, I find myself
reaching out to the Lord for strength and endurance. The scripture that gets me through the tough
days is <i>“Whatever you do, work at it with
all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know
that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord
Christ you are serving.” –Colossians 3:23-24. </i>I have this scripture taped
to my computer to remind me of this when I find myself feeling overwhelmed or
frustrated. When I stop and read this, the peace of Lord comes upon me to give
me strength. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I always like to find examples in the bible of whatever particular
situation I am going through. When I am
enduring stressful work situations, I like to look at the example of
Daniel. Some people might think that they
have a terrible boss, but I don’t think anyone could have had a terrible of a
boss as King Nebuchadnezzar. He was a
powerful, brutal, and prideful king. One day he had an unsettling dream, and called
upon all the wise men and astrologers to interpret it for him. When they
couldn’t, he had them all killed. But Daniel was able to interpret his dream, through
God of course, and when he did, Nebuchadnezzar promoted Daniel and <i>“gave him many great gifts, and made him
ruler over the whole province of Babylon and chief administrator of all the
wise men in Babylon”</i> (Daniel 2:48). What
a promotion! But even with all the respect and advancement Daniel received from
Nebuchadnezzar, he still couldn’t have been an easy boss to work for. He was so prideful that he had a huge image
of gold (about 90 feet high by 9 feet wide) erected and commanded that everyone
bow down to this image when certain music was played. If they didn’t bow down, they were to be
thrown into a burning fiery furnace! When I really stop and think about the
type of person Daniel’s boss was, it makes it easier for me to appreciate the
fact that my work situation or boss is nowhere near what Daniel had to endure, And
I am encouraged by seeing what type of person Daniel must have been. When Nebuchadnezzar became insane and lived
like an animal in the wilderness for seven years, it is believed that Daniel may
have helped care for him at times. Years later, when Daniel worked for King
Darius, he again made such an impression with his excellent work ethic, that
Darius wanted to promote him, setting him above all the other kingdoms (Daniel 6:3). As we sometimes see in our own work
environments, jealousy set in, and his co-workers conspired against him and
made trouble for him by deviously getting the King to sign a decree that praying
in the open was punishable by death, death by lions to be exact. Of course Daniel continued to pray, as we
obey God rather than man. When the king found out, his reaction is a testament
to the love and admiration he had towards Daniel: he was devastated. He fought
with all his might to have the law reversed, and when nothing could be done, he
had to follow through with his own law. When I read this story, I was so
touched by how Darius felt towards Daniel.
He obviously felt sorrow and remorse, as evidenced by his not being able
to sleep or eat. Very early the next morning, Darius rushed over to the lion’s
den and cried out to Daniel, asking if his God was able to save him. He was so filled
with gladness that Daniel was still alive and immediately had him brought up,
and had the guys who conspired against Daniel throw in the lion’s den.<o:p></o:p></div>
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What an excellent example Daniel was. He was a dedicated, loyal, and reliable
employee. His bosses, great kings, greatly cared for him and respected him. And
Daniel also cared for his bosses, not wishing any harm to come to them; he was
also tactful, yet honest with them. When he had to relay the bad news behind
the meaning of Nebuchadnezzar’s dream, he said “<i>My lord, if only the dream applied to those who hate you and its
interpretation to your adversaries! </i> (Daniel 4:19). Even
though his superiors may have done some pretty terrible things, Daniel still
was the model employee. He served the Lord first and foremost, and would not
compromise his beliefs, even if that meant death. But he still treated his
superiors with respect and honor, going above and beyond putting in a day’s
work. He worked as he was working for the Lord, and by this, he was able to endure
working in some pretty unfavorable circumstances, yet excelling in his duties
as he did so. That is the kind of employee I want to be. By Daniel’s faith, he was an excellent
witness for the Lord to his superiors and his co-workers. Because of his exceptional work ethic, he was
considered trustworthy and was respected, and as a result, was elevated and
given many responsibilities. The story of Daniel reminds me that no matter
how difficult my work situation may be, the Lord will give me strength to
endure, and when I work as I am working for the Lord, I will be blessed in many
ways, primarily, by knowing I am working for my King, King Jesus. <o:p></o:p></div>
Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-59384177566128889902016-12-31T11:47:00.000-08:002017-03-11T17:44:53.058-08:00Putting Away My Rearview Mirror<div class="MsoNormal">
Something that I have continued to struggle with is regret.
Regret over past sins and mistakes. Regret over making unwise choices. Regret
of not taking advantage of certain opportunities. Regret of things that I could have done
better as a mother when raising my kids as a single parent, and even now. I find that these periods of regret are intensified
when I visit the place I grew up or raised my kids. Sometimes these feelings are triggered by a
song from past seasons, or an old, familiar scent. I take a mental trip down
memory lane and become melancholy, and start to wish that I could go back in
time, to either relive “the good times” when my kids (and I) were young, or to
go back and correct past mistakes. Self-condemnation comes knocking on my door,
and becomes relentless. But is that the way God wants me to live my life? To be held captive by regret, guilt, and
condemnation? Doesn’t the Word tell us that He came to set the captives free? Free
from whatever burden that may enslave us?<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I find myself in that dark place, the Lord has been so
merciful and loving by bringing to my mind that whatever I have done, Jesus
took care of it on the cross. My past
sins, He has forgiven me. My unwise
choices, He will restore the years that the locusts consumed. He also reminds
me that some unwise or painful decisions eventually turned out to be a blessing
later down the road. For example, years
ago, I had purchased a home, with the hopes of improving the quality of life for
me and my kids. I was still a baby
Christian, so I didn’t seek the Lord in my decision to move an hour away from
my mom and the city I called home for 30 years. I got caught up with the
mentality that owning a home equates to being successful. I loved having a big, spacious home, but the
cost, upkeep and stress finally got the best of me, and I decided to sell it
three years later. Sometimes, when I am
feeling discontented with our small living quarters now, I find myself looking
back and wishing I still had that big home, but then I look at where I am at
now, and I realize that I am in a much better place now. If I hadn’t sold my home and moved to the
city I am in now, I wouldn’t have found the church family that I have now. And,
I wouldn’t have met my husband. So
things turned out much better in the end.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It is a little harder for me to overcome the regret of past
sins. I think part of the reason is because of the religion that I was brought up
in, living under the constant burden of guilt and shame. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness, and their
stance on sin can be pretty harsh, with their discipline being very
severe. I was disfellowshipped, or
shunned and ostracized, from this religion, which I had been raised in and a
part of for 30 years, for being what they determined, an “unrepentant sinner”.
Never mind that I had been heartbroken and depressed over my sin, and in tears
when meeting with the panel of elders. They decided my fate, which ultimately
soured my kids on religion and God, and sent me almost over the edge mentally
and emotionally. But again, God was so wonderful, because he used this painful
experience to get me to start seeking Him, the real Him, and I found Jesus, and
became born again, and the chains of bondage to this religion was broken.
Though my mind knows that I have complete forgiveness when I confessed my sins and
accepted Jesus, I still battle in the heart with regret and shame, and it is a constant
struggle that I am slowly overcoming, with His help.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As always, I find great comfort in finding examples in the bible
of people who struggled with the same issues that I do. Peter also struggled with regret. After
telling Jesus he would lay down his life for him, it was only a few hours later
that he denied Jesus three times. Can
you imagine how Peter felt after Jesus turned and looked at him after that last
time of denying Him? It must have pierced Peter’s heart sharply, because it
says <i>“he turned and wept bitterly”</i>
(Luke 22:61-62). But Jesus was so loving
and merciful. He forgave Peter and
restored him when He reappeared after His resurrection. After asking Peter three
times if he loved him and Peter responded in the affirmative, Jesus gave him three
commands: <i>“feed My lambs, tend My sheep, and feed My sheep”</i> (John 21:15-17). I’m sure at times Peter must have felt regret
and shame over his actions for the rest of his life, but he didn’t let it
hinder him or hold him back from what Jesus called him to do, which was to shepherd,
or pastor, His flock. He accepted Jesus’ grace and forgiveness, and he became a
bold witness for Christ, ultimately dying for his faith, being crucified upside
down. Paul is another example. I am sure he must have felt enormous regret over
all the Christians he persecuted and killed prior to his conversion. He
referred to himself as the “least of all apostles” and said “<i>I am unworthy to be called an apostle
because I persecuted the house of God”</i> (1 Corinthians 15:9). He referred to himself as <i>“chief of sinners”</i> (1 Timothy 1:15), but he didn’t let his past
hinder his future. He focused on what was ahead and on what was important:
furthering the gospel, preaching it far and wide, and encouraging his brothers
and sisters in faith with his eloquent and heartfelt letters to the churches.
He said “<i>but one thing I do: Forgetting
what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal
to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:13-14).</i><span style="background: white; color: #444444; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I am learning that in order for me to overcome my feelings
of regret, I need to keep my eyes focused on Jesus and what he has done for me.
He doesn’t judge my worth by my past mistakes or sins. He has cast my sins as far as the east is
from the west (Psalms 103:12). My life is not over because I have past
failures. He is not done with me; He is the Author and Finisher of my faith
(Hebrews 12:2). As I was reflecting on it this week, the Lord reminded me that
there is nothing good to be accomplished by looking back, and then he reminded
me of Lot’s wife, and we know what happened to her when she looked back. True, she was probably looking back because
she was longing for the material things she enjoyed and did not want to leave
that comfortable life behind, but isn’t that kind of what I’ve been doing?
Longing for my younger years, so that my older self can make my younger self
avoid the pain of costly mistakes, and make my younger years more easy and
comfortable? If they had been, I may not
have been driven to seek the Lord, and submit myself to Him, because life might
have been too good and comfortable and I would have been complacent living status
quo. I know that God uses painful
situations and despair to get us to turn to Him, so that is another reason that
I cannot live my life in regret, because God used my past failures to help me to
be a better and wiser person now, so that I can perhaps share my stories and
wisdom with someone else. Romans 8:1
says <i>“There is therefore now no
condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus”</i>, and this comforts me when I
am feeling regretful over something. I think Paul was talking to me in Titus
3:3-7, when he said <i>“we were also once
foolish, disobedient and deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures”</i>,
but he reminds me that God, by his mercy, saved me, by the <i>“washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit”</i>. Oh, how great a comfort these words of encouragement
are!<o:p></o:p></div>
Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-70839897128862688952016-11-25T10:21:00.000-08:002017-03-11T17:45:49.805-08:00Gratitude is Attitude<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday, as I reflected on the many things that I was
thankful for, I realized that my attitude has played a big part in my gratitude
over the years. For a long time, I think
I was sucked into the mentality that I should have a big house, fancy car, the
career that I’ve always dreamed of, etc. (especially by my age) to be successful.
As I compared myself to others who had those things, I felt like I was missing
out on something and that I was inadequate, and as a result, I couldn’t see and
appreciate the beauty in the things that were sitting there right in front of
me. So I don’t think I had a lot of gratitude during those years. Now that I am getting older, and I look
around me, I find myself appreciating a lot more the little things that I have and becoming more grateful, especially more so as my walk with Lord continues.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“This is the day the
Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.” - </i>Psalms 118:24. The
closer I get to 50, the more I realize that tomorrow is not guaranteed. I see death around me more and more. Just this year alone, I have seen 5 people who
I used to work with pass away. Also,
this year we were hit with a cancer scare, when two large masses were found in
my husband’s lymph nodes. Praise the Lord that they turned out benign, but
during that waiting period, just the thought that they could be cancerous was enough
to bring me to my knees and give thanks to the Lord for each day that he has
given and continues to give my husband. Every
day that I wake up, every day that my husband wakes up, I am extremely grateful
for. I try not to take my health for
granted either. To show this, for years
now as a personal Thanksgiving tradition, I get up and go to the gym and work
out. I thank the Lord for the body that He has given me, the body that still
works and enjoys things, because I know there will be a day that I won’t be
able to do this anymore. When I was at
the gym yesterday, the Lord put someone in my path who showed me even more so
how good I have it. This elderly
gentleman is a regular I see often, but I learned yesterday that he lost his
wife and daughter years ago and spends Thanksgiving alone. I saw in this man
resilience in moving on despite his heartbreak, and purpose in taking steps to
stay active and connected to others by exercising regularly. I was blessed to learn more about this man,
and it made me more aware of the fact that the holidays are very hard for a lot
of people. We should make an extra effort to pray for those who are alone
during this season that may be anything but joyous for them, and if possible,
spend some time with them, even if it’s brief.
You never know what that extra word of encouragement or love will do for
that person.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“Give thanks in all
circumstances, for this is this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”</i>
- 1 Thessalonians 5:18. One of the things that I struggled with the first year
of my marriage was our living situation.
We live in a small, one bedroom apartment, so at times, it can feel
small, tight and cramped. After my kids grew up and left home, I lived alone in
my quaint little apartment for 7 years, and I felt like a queen in my spacious
home, doing whatever, whenever I pleased. When I first got married, I had to downsize
quite a bit, parting with a lot of things that could not be accommodated in my
husband’s small apartment. It was hard saying goodbye. Not only was I parting
with personal things that meant something to me at one time, but I was also saying
goodbye to what I considered spacious and quiet living quarters, and more
importantly, my independence and freedom to do what and how I pleased. But no
matter how difficult that process was, I was also ecstatic, because the Lord
had now given me my life partner and best friend, and I was no longer alone. So
while I was thankful for the time I had spent alone, doing things I probably could
have never done while married, like travel and visit Israel and Rome with my
daughter, and get a great education, I am now thankful for this different chapter
in my life, that of a wife to a very godly and devoted husband. This is one that
I find myself extremely grateful for every day. Marriage has its challenges for
sure, but with Jesus in the middle, it becomes a masterpiece. Every bump in the
road is smoothed out when we turn to God’s Word. Every fear is squashed when we
go to Him in prayer. My husband is my biggest cheerleader whenever I am faced
with some difficulty. He quotes
scriptures to me all the time. He prays for me and gives me encouragement. He
is like a walking bible dictionary. Whenever I read the Word or am studying for
my women’s studies and I have a question about something, he knows the answer off
the top of his head. And whenever I have been, let’s just say, a difficult
wife, whether by mood, stress, meltdowns, etc., I know he prays for strength and
wisdom on how to deal with me. Praise the Lord for that, because I know how
difficult I can be! Being married to someone who loves the Lord first and above
all is something that I am tremendously and utterly grateful for. For all you
single ladies who are looking for a mate, I implore you to please don’t settle
for less. Wait for that man who loves the Lord with all his heart and puts God
before you or anyone else. Wait for that
man that the Lord has in store for you. It is worth the wait, I promise.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One of the most important things I have learned from my husband
is to learn to be content in all things. I think the scriptures he most often
quotes to me is “<i>for I have learned in
whatever state I am, to be content”</i> (Philippians 4:11). I tend to stress a
little bit (ok, a LOT a bit) over finances.
Due to health reasons, my husband wasn’t able to work for a while, and I
stressed out a lot over bills and finances.
His words to me all the time were (and are) “we will be all right, we
trust in the Lord!" And yes, he is right, we are fine, and we continue to be
fine. We may not be able to do or buy what we want to all the time, but all our
needs are met. Another thing that I have
learned to embrace is our small apartment. Well-meaning people have asked “when
are you going to get a bigger place?” and at first that used to bother me quite
a bit. There is no chance of that
happening anytime soon, especially the way rents continue to soar in our area,
but I have learned to be content in our small living quarters, seeing it as my small,
safe haven, where I find rest and contentment with my husband, reading God’s Word
and trusting completely and entirely on Him. Is there any greater freedom than
that? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“And let the peace of
God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be
thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom,
teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs,
singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do
in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks
to God the Father through Him.” -</i> Colossians 3:15-17. Something else I find
myself extremely grateful for is my spiritual brothers and sisters in
Christ. The encouragement that I get
from them is priceless. There have been
so many times that I have had to drag myself to church or bible study because I
didn’t feel like going or was depressed, and I left in a much blessed and
better state than when I came in. Sometimes it was a word spoken to me, or a
prayer offered up on behalf of me or my family. Other times it was a hug or a
smile, or just hearing someone else’s life circumstances and how they still
have the joy of the Lord and an unwavering trust in Him. When I look at the
freedom we have to meet and encourage and build up one another, I am filled with
gratitude. There are a lot of people who
don’t have this freedom, and I never want to take it for granted. I cherish my time spent with my fellow
believers, and each time I leave, I am a better person. That’s why the Lord instructs us to “<b><sup><span style="background: white; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 9pt; line-height: 107%;"> </span></sup></b><i>not forsake the assembling of ourselves together,
as is the manner of some, but exhorting one
another, and so much the more as you see the Day
approaching”</i> (Hebrews 10:25). In this day and age, where there is a
lot of hurting, lonely and lost people, being able to meet with those who
encourage us and lift us up is something to be very grateful for indeed. As I
grow older, I see the bigger picture and what’s most important in life: God,
family and friends, and health. I appreciate what I have, and I am learning to
be very content in my circumstances.<o:p></o:p></div>
Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-14060314573310921412016-10-24T21:06:00.000-07:002017-03-11T17:43:51.412-08:00Black Sheep are His Sheep<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve been feeling “off” lately (my word for depressed or, as
my husband likes to say, lacking the joy). I was searching Facebook today for
something that would sum up my feelings, and I came cross this quote from the SimpleReminders.com
page: <i>“I like weird people…The black sheep, the odd ducks, the rejects, the
eccentrics, the loners, the lost and forgotten.
More often than not, these people have the most beautiful souls.” </i>Bingo!
I saw myself in that list 100%. People often misunderstand me; they mistake my introverted
personality for being mad or aloof. Many times, I cannot go to a social
gathering without feeling awkward, weird, and out of place. All my life I have been a loner, the odd man
out. In high school, I would gravitate towards the misfits, the outcasts, the
ones the popular kids made fun of and avoided. And now, when I find myself having to attend
some social function, I gravitate towards children, elderly people, or pets,
people I feel safe with, people I feel most comfortable with. They don’t judge me,
form bad first impressions of me or make me feel like I’m weird. They just
accept me as I am. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Because I have always felt like the black sheep, in my family
and society, I was always looking for an explanation for why I was the way I
was. I also suffered from depression for
many years (and still do occasionally) and I wanted answers to that too. So when
I decided to go to college in my 30’s, I choose psychology for my B.A., and then
got my master’s degree in counseling (MFT). While I didn’t get a career in that
field (that’s another story), I did gain a wealth of knowledge from all those
years of studying personalities, mental illnesses, cause and effect, nature vs.
nurture, (you get the idea). I did a lot of painful introspection during those
years (and still do, because once a therapist, always a therapist). And I
realized that it was my childhood experiences that shaped my personality, along
with some heredity thrown in. My parents
divorced when I was young, so that had a big impact. Children need both parents
in the home, and for girls especially, if they don’t have a positive male role
model in their lives, many will start looking for love and attention in all the
wrong places, which is what happened to me. In middle school, I was betrayed by
my supposed best friends, when they told the whole school my father was Black.
From then on, I was bullied and called horrible and ugly racist names. I think
that is when my social anxiety began. That is when I started to hate being
around groups of people, because I felt like a freak, never knowing when the
next slur would be hurled at me. I
became rebellious, started getting involved in things that I shouldn’t have; I
ran away from home when I was 13, staying in a car in Nevada and Arizona for a
week. Now that I am a mother, I can’t believe
what I put my mother through, and how scared she must have been, not knowing
where I was or if I was still alive. Middle
school turned to high school, and the feelings of weirdness and depression
intensified, to the point of me wanting to commit suicide. I remember walking home from school many
times, feeling hopeless and worthless, and wanting to run into oncoming traffic
to end it all. No one understood me at this time, with the exception of my
wonderful grandmother, who tried to intervene when my mother threw her hands
up. The pain of loneliness and rejection
is what led to me getting pregnant with my son when I was 16. I
thought that I would finally have someone who would love me for me. I think my son saved my life in way, because as
depressed and messed up mentally and emotionally I was at that time, I don’t
think I would have lasted much longer.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Having my son did help me, but I still wasn’t right
emotionally or mentally. I had 2 more children by the time I was 23, but I
still had emotional baggage. I still felt like I was “different”. I made a lot
of bad decisions, still struggled with depression, and when I was in my 30’s
suffered my first panic attack. I remember it clearly. I was at work, and the most intensifying
feeling fear overcame me and I had to call a friend to come get me. The
depression continued, and I tried antidepressants and alcohol to make it go
away. It wasn’t until I found the Lord,
that things started to get better for me.
I didn’t get healing overnight. In fact, I suffered an intense panic
attack about 3 months after I got married, which kind of threw my husband for a loop, and it was right
before he was to leave for a men’s retreat no less (the first introduction to “for
better or for worse”). I still get periods where I am feeling down, or feel that panic may set in, but the difference now is that I know the Lord. No,
let me rephrase that because I did know the Lord when I had some of my most low
or fearful episodes; it was when I learned to TRUST the Lord, and go to Him
first when I start feeling this way, and not to some self-help book or worldly
wisdom. I have been blessed to have some sisters in my life that knew exactly
what I was going through, and they helped teach me what I needed to know to get
through these episodes. They directed me
to the Word of God, and from there I found the wisdom and comfort that I
needed. And I started to trust and feel
God’s presence when I would cry out Him, and I felt His comforting touch. One of my
favorite scriptures is Psalm 91:4: “<i>He
will cover you with His feathers. He will shelter you with His wings. His
faithful promises are your armor and protection.”</i> When I am feeling down or scared, I read this
scripture and I picture God holding me and protecting me, shielding me until
the wave of panic and sadness leaves. As
I continue in my walk with the Lord, I find comfort in finding other examples in
the bible of people who suffered depression, rejection and anxiety. Elijah is a big one. He was a bold and
courageous prophet; he challenged evil king Ahab, had a showdown with the
false prophets of Baal, and was used by God to provide food miraculously to a
widow and her son during a famine (1 Kings 17-18). In spite of his bold actions
and faith in God, he too, suffered from depression. When he heard that Jezebel
was out to kill him, he became depressed, sat under a broom tree and prayed
that he might die. Jeremiah is another one. Known as the weeping prophet, he
was rejected by the people he cared for and tried to witness to. God had forbid him to marry and have
children, so he must have been especially lonely and depressed, which you can
see when he said “cursed is the day I was born” and “why did I ever come out of
the womb to see sorrow and shame?” (Jeremiah 20:14-18). Other examples are
David, who many times wrote of his anguish, Jonah, who asked God to take away
his life, and of course Job, who we all know of the horrible sufferings he
endured. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But no one felt more alone and rejected than our Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ. Isaiah 53:3 prophesied
about Him saying <i>“He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and
acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised
and we did not esteem Him”</i>. How awesome
to know that our Lord and Savior can sympathize with us and feel our pain, our
hurts, our sorrows. He knows what it feels like to be rejected, to feel
different and out of place. He knows
everything I have felt. He knows that I am different, I am weird, and I am
unique, but He loves me, insecurities and idiosyncrasies and all. I may suffer
from time to time with feelings of rejection, depression or fear, but not like
I used to. It no longer has power over me, because Jesus set me free. Just like the men and women in the bible who turned to the Lord for comfort, protection and release from these
feelings. And we have that same confidence.
I’m sure there are many of us who feel like they belong on that list I
mentioned in the beginning. But that’s who Jesus came to save. Turn to Jesus,
and He will bring you comfort and healing, and you will never feel rejected or
alone again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-22696966347282815722016-10-10T21:29:00.000-07:002017-03-11T17:43:31.278-08:00Transparency <div class="MsoNormal">
As I continue to grow in my walk with the Lord, I am realizing
that being transparent is vital for growth and maturity. It is also crucial for
developing strong, close relationships with fellow believers. What does being transparent mean? According
to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, it means: a) free from pretense or deceit
(frank); b) easily detected or seen through (obvious); or c) readily
understood.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I recently attended a women’s retreat where many women
shared their stories of struggles, pains, and joys, and I felt more connected
and blessed because of their openness. I
think being transparent helps us in many ways, and is helpful for both the
person sharing and the person hearing. Even
though we may have never endured what the other person is going through, we
have compassion for and an understanding of that person, and more importantly, this
moves us to pray for that person. Another
reason is that we may see a little of ourselves in that person, and it helps us
to realize that we are not the only one who has ever struggled with or
experienced a particular issue. This is
especially true for me. At times, I have felt like no one could understand or
relate to particular issues I have battled with, things that are very personal,
and at times painful or shameful to discuss. It was when someone shared their
deepest troubles, their past experiences, things that I could relate to, that I
was able to open my heart and grow and let go of these feelings of shame or inadequacy
that has kept me down for so long.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Early in my walk with the Lord, it was hard for me to feel
connected to other believers. I felt like I didn’t have any one that I could
relate to. It seemed like people kept
discussions at the surface level, and it appeared that they had their life
together and were super Christians. It
seemed that everyone had been Christians all their lives, were married, happy, and
being blessed financially. I was the total opposite: a new Christian wet behind
the ears, a single parent struggling with depression, and broke. As a result, I felt I was an inadequate Christian,
and that I must be doing something wrong because my life wasn’t perfect. Looking
back, part of the reason may have been because of the type of churches I was
attending; prosperity was the focus. I
didn’t want that brand new BMW, I just wanted to be loved and accepted as I
was, and to feel released from the burden of shame and guilt. It wasn’t until I started attending churches
where transparency was evident, and hearing personal testimonies from the
pastors and people at church, that I began to feel connected. I can’t explain it, but there is this sort of
bonding that happens when people share their stories, unabashed and unashamed. We
open our hearts and cry with them, or we silently cheer for them at what they
have overcome with the help of Jesus, and we marvel at what the Lord can do
with anyone and any circumstance. </div>
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At the retreat I recently attended, many women shared their
personal battles that they had endured or continue to struggle with. Some things were very heartbreaking to hear
and very painful for them to share. But it was because of their willingness to
share with us, to be transparent, that all of the women were blessed. I think it made us feel united in Christ and
encouraged us to keep fighting the fight, whatever each of us may be personally
be going through. I also believe that because of the environment of safety and
love and encouragement that was present, it made it easier for the women to
share. And they bravely did so because they
have been set free by the love of Jesus, where there is no condemnation, only
restoration. I know this has had a big impact on me. It has
always been hard for me to open up to people for various reasons. It can be
scary to share your personal struggles with others. It feels risky. I often thought, “Will they
judge me?” “Will they look at me differently?”
Of course we should use discernment and be discreet when it comes to being
transparent, because not every environment may be safe to do so. I have been very
blessed to find sisters where I can do so safely. I have realized that I have also
found freedom when I have shared my experiences. I am not sure why that is. Maybe it’s because
I feel like burdens have been released.
The scriptures say that we are to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians
6:2), so perhaps when we share with our brothers and sisters in Christ, we are
no longer hanging onto our pains and sorrows, but are releasing them, and in
turn being prayed for and encouraged by our Christian family. It is like a weight has been lifted off our
shoulders. The problems may still be
there, but we are not alone. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When we are transparent, others see what we have been
through and see how faithful we are to the Lord in spite of how difficult life
may be. They see how He has pulled us through whatever trial we’ve been through.
They see how He has transformed us from the old person we used to be, to a new
creation in Him. Being transparent encourages others and gives them hope that
they too, can overcome or can endure. One
of the most important things I have learned from other’s testimonies and
frankness is the forgiveness and grace of God.
When I heard women sharing stories similar to mine, and I saw how they
have experienced the forgiveness of God, it gave me hope and peace that I also
can be forgiven and set free from that bondage of guilt and shame.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There are many examples of transparency in the bible. David and Paul are the first ones that comes
to mind. Paul often talked openly about
his weakness, failures and past mistakes, and I have been encouraged time after
time when I read his words. How many
times did David cry out to the Lord about his weaknesses, fears and failures? The
Psalms of David are the most loved and most quoted scriptures in the bible because
they are so encouraging; we have a real man, a powerful man, being real before
God and real before people, faults and all. Above all though, we learn from
King David that being transparent before the Lord is the most important
thing. Yes, God may already know what’s
in our heart and every little detail about us (Psalm 139), but by openly crying
out to Him our innermost pains, desires, sorrows, and joys, draws us closer to
Him, and strengthens our relationship with Him. The more we open our hearts to
him, the closer He gets to us, and our relationship continues to grow deeper
and we experience freedom in knowing He forgives us and accepts us, no matter
where we came from, or what we’ve done. <o:p></o:p></div>
Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-14013431366530218712016-09-17T11:48:00.002-07:002017-03-11T17:42:38.644-08:00The Prayer Box <div class="MsoNormal">
Several years ago, someone gave me a prayer box. Since I was a new believer at the time, I
really didn’t understand what it was for or how to use it, so I didn’t give it
much thought. Over the course of time, occasionally, when I would find myself
going through a difficult or painful challenge in my life, I would write out my
prayer request, put it in the box, and then forget about it. Recently, I pulled down the prayer box,
dusted it off, and started reading through my requests. There weren’t many, about 15, but as I read
through them, I realized that God had answered every one of them. Sometimes the
answer was what I asked for, other times it wasn’t, but was instead something
much better than what I could have imagined at the time. As I read through each one and saw how the
Lord answered them, I am filled with awe, gratitude and love, knowing just how
much He cares for me, and that He heard my cries.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As I reflect on the ways God answered me, I am learning more
about Him and seeing how His Word is so true and so trusted. I had a few
requests that were basically the same, but were asked differently each time. I
asked for a good, rewarding job, with health benefits. The Lord answered that 15 months ago, when I
got the job that I am at now. I am
amazed because I wrote some minor details about how I wanted my job to be, and this
job pretty much has all that I asked. Another request was for an end to my
years of loneliness and to provide me a Godly husband. This one blows me away. When I look at my husband, I can’t believe
just how good God is. He really did give me the desires of my heart. The person God chose for me is perfect in
every way, and little things that I continue to observe proves that God really
does know who or what’s best for us. This answer to my prayer took longer than
I wanted, but I know it was because I wasn’t walking fully in line with the
Lord or His commandments. Once I completely put God first in my life, and
walked in obedience, did God finally answer this prayer. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Was it the prayer box that made God answer my prayers? Did
it hold some powers that miraculously turned my prayers into reality? No, I believe
that it was because I earnestly sought Him, believed that He would hear me, and
had faith that He would answer me. 1 John 5:14 says “Now this is the confidence
that we have in Him, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us”. I
also believe persistence played an important part; I didn’t just ask once and
give up, I kept asking. Jesus taught His disciples in His parable about the
persistent widow, that they “always ought to pray and not lose heart” (Luke
18:1-8). Also important, I believe that it was having a repentant heart
and walking in obedience, that God answered my prayers (Psalms 66:18). <o:p></o:p></div>
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One of the stories in the bible that touches my heart and
shows me how much God is moved by our prayers is the story of King Hezekiah. He
is one of my favorite persons in the bible and I can’t wait to meet him in
heaven. He was a mighty king who loved God and was very zealous for Him; he “did
what was good and right and faithful before the Lord” (2 Chronicles 31:20). He boldly tried to eradicate false worship in Judah,
destroying all the false idols and pagan alters and temples, and brought back a
revival of true and pure worship of the Lord (2 Chronicles 29-32). Later in his
life, he had become very sick, and the prophet Isaiah had told him to get
things ready because he was going to die. Hezekiah immediately turned to the Lord in
prayer, and he wept bitterly. Before Isaiah even left the building, the Lord answered
his prayer. The Lord told Isaiah that He
was going to heal Hezekiah and extend his life 15 years (2 Kings 20:1-6). I
remember reading this story a couple of years ago, and it brought tears to my
eyes. Hezekiah’s story touched me for several reasons. Here is this mighty, valiant king who loved the Lord and wasn’t ashamed to openly worship Him and do things
that were considered unpopular or “politically incorrect” for his time. He
boldly and unashamedly started tearing down pagan alters and destroying idols.
Can you imagine what would happen if we started doing that today? And as mighty
or powerful as he was, Hezekiah wasn’t ashamed to weep bitterly before the Lord,
nor was he too manly or proud to ask for more time on this earth. But what touched me the most were God’s words,
<i>“I have heard your prayer, and seen your
tears, surely I will heal you”</i> (2 Kings 20:5). What comfort I get from
reading this! Our God loves us and hears us. He knows all of our needs, pains,
fears, and He wants to help us. Nothing is too small or too big for our God. Nothing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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During my reflection, I also realized that when we pray on
the behalf of others, God hears us.
Another prayer request had been for a co-worker who had been falsely
accused and unjustly fired from his job. I prayed that the Lord would take care
of his needs and bless him with a better job. About a year or two later, I
found out that he had found a very good and high paying job, much better than
the part-time job he had before. This was a powerful reminder to me that we
should never give up on praying for others. Even though we may not see the
final outcome, or feel that anything is happening because we aren’t seeing changes,
God is in control, and He is working behind the scenes, in His timing, to answer,
according to His will. This is
encouraging to me. We all have people that we pray for, and sometimes it feels
like the situation might be hopeless because we aren’t seeing any results. I
myself feel like this at times. There are certain painful situations I have been
praying for, and I catch myself feeling hopeless and that it is too big for God
to handle because I am not seeing instantaneous results. But I am reminded by examples in the bible,
or my past answered prayers, that God does hear and will answer, but in His timing,
and His way. This means I will have to wait and trust in Him, and not give up
in prayer or in hope. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I encourage you to never give up either. We can encourage and build up each other by
continually praying for one another (James 5:6) and bearing each other’s burdens
(Galatians 6:2). We can’t do it alone, and just knowing we have others in the
faith praying for us when we don’t have the strength ourselves to pray is uplifting
and encouraging. We may have prayers
that we can’t even articulate in words because they are too painful, or we are
too ashamed or embarrassed, but trust that God knows our heart and every detail
that we can’t express (Psalms 56:8). He is the God of comfort, and will indeed
comfort us in our trials, so that we may be able to comfort those in trials of
their own. If you need someone to
partner with you in prayer, please feel free to contact me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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God bless you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Gabby<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>“Blessed be the God
and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all
comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort
those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are
comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our
consolation also abounds through Christ.” </i>2 Corinthians 3-5<o:p></o:p></div>
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Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828300023450856382.post-9870387067427130302016-09-11T13:16:00.000-07:002017-03-11T17:37:45.652-08:00Introduction: The How & Wise<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am an introvert. That can be a blessing or a curse,
depending on how you look at it. On the
downside, I can be mistaken for being aloof, mad, or standoffish. Participating
in small groups and group activities can be a somewhat taxing, and having to
speak aloud in front of others can be downright nerve-racking. The positive
side, however, is that I am a deep thinker, with thoughts running through my
mind a mile minute; I have a calming, quiet spirit (so I’ve been told), and I
am a good listener, filing away even the most minor details to be recalled
much later down the road. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Because of my introverted personality, I have spent most of
my life feeling misunderstood, and as a result, always felt like I never
belonged anywhere. I felt odd, out of
place, and socially awkward. It wasn’t until I was in my final year of graduate
school, when a professor told me that I was an introvert, and that it was a
gift, that I finally understood. A light bulb went off in my head and I said
“that’s what’s wrong with me!” I began reading anything I could to understand
myself better, and with time, and God’s help, I began to accept myself, and
become comfortable with who I truly am. It is still a struggle, but the Lord is
helping me grow and overcome the hurdles. He has put people in my life that
have given me encouragement to step outside of my comfort zone. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Last year, I started
attending a women’s bible study group. When
I first came to know the Lord, I bounced from church to church, never quite
feeling like I fit in. Then, when I
found the church I now attend, I instantly felt at home. But it wasn’t until about 3 years later that
I found the courage to attend a women’s study, a study that would break out
into small groups (yikes!). And what a
blessing it has been. At first, I would
do my usual “quiet observer” routine, but then, as I felt the safety and love
from the women in the group, I began to share. Trust me, it was very scary at
first. I have fears due to past betrayal and hurt, so sharing openly and
letting anyone in was truly a very intimidating and frightening thing for me.
But because of the love of Jesus that these women showed, I felt welcomed and
comforted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In my walk with the Lord, I have learned that he loves and
uses all personality types. Each of us has our own unique gifts that God gave
to us, and we shouldn’t feel bad because someone has the gift to speak, and we don’t,
or because someone has the gift of helps, and we can’t. We should seek the Lord and ask Him to reveal
to us what our gifts are, and embrace them, and be ready to step out in faith
and use them (1 Corinthians 12:4-11). I am always encouraged by examples in the
bible of people whom God used who are just like you and me. I take
comfort in the example of Moses, because I believe he was also an introvert,
and he had the fear of speaking and felt very inadequate, much like me. (Exodus
4:10). Yet, with his feeling of inadequacy and limitations, God used him
mightily. He led the Israelites out of Egypt (Exodus 14), he was a witness to
some of the greatest miracles, the 10 plagues (Exodus 8-12) and the parting of
the Red Sea (Exodus: 14:21-22), to name a few, and God gave him the Ten
Commandments (Exodus 20).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Because of my introversion, I am a better writer than an
orator. In my first English class in
college some 13 years ago, my teacher told me I should think about becoming a
writer, a thought that has been in the back of my mind ever since. Lately, I
have felt a tug from the Lord to share what I have learned and experienced in my
walk with Him, in order to bless and encourage others, like others have done
for me. It is my hope that I can learn and grow in my walk with the Lord, along
with you, being transparent as I share my journey, experiences, and pearls and nuggets
of wisdom that I have learned from the wisest of all, Jesus, from His priceless,
Holy Word, the bible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Blessings,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Gabby<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>“Therefore encourage
one another and build each another up, just as in fact you are doing.”</i> – 1 Thessalonians
5:11</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Gabrielle Cruzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02435599822516554384noreply@blogger.com2